You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
