Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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