I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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