She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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