I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
