He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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