Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
