1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
