playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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