I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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