Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
