Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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