Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
