I need help removing her.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
