Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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