A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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