That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
