fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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