I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
