they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
