three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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