We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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