I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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