just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize