it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
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I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
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"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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