i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
