i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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