i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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