Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
