i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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