He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
