I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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