they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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