Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize