some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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