Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
