all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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