I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
