I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
