they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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