...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
