The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
