Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.