all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
