You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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