Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What a dumb baby whore.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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