i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
