New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
