he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
