A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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