Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
