Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
