are you so shy because you have an std?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize