It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
