My room smells like vodka and shame
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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