Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize