I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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