Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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